Over the weekend I got an itch to try something creative and tried scratching it with something I have never done before; I put myself in front of the camera and tried being the “model.” Have you ever felt self-conscious in a room full of people because you are not dressed for the occasion? Well imagine a scenario like that, only everyone in the room has a camera and is waiting for you to do something interesting so they can take your picture. That’s about what I felt like when Jennie was shooting me. Maybe that was a little overly dramatic, but it’s how I felt.
During the first few frames I was painfully aware of all my insecurities: how my hair was done (widow’s peak), how much tooth I was showing, how scrunchy my forehead was(large forehead), how my shirt fell across my chest, etc… With a little encouragement from the photographer and being able to see the photo myself on the back of the camera my fears started to subside and I was able to enjoy the process and actually try some things that might seem a little out there (you’ll see what I mean).
To be completely honest, after a while I didn’t want to stop! There was something freeing about being able to think intentionally about what I wanted to communicate about myself and how I might be able to do that through my body language. If you have never done something like this before, I would highly recommend it. Take some time and have a photographer do a portrait session with you. Pay attention to how it feels and what thoughts are going through your mind as you pose. Dive into the awkwardness and try to understand it, tell the photographer you are feeling awkward (you are paying them and they can wait for you to be ready). Have fun with the session and communicate yourself however you want to. When you see the completed photos, I promise you will be happy with the outcome and hopefully you will have learned something about yourself in the process.
Looking back, this experiment challenged me to be comfortable with myself and confident regardless of any imperfections I have and that I am me and there is something unique and interesting worth capturing. Think of this challenge as something to help develop a healthy perception of yourself and you will probably have a lot of fun in the process.
A special thank you to our lighting assistant Hurly